Home » When Things Go to Shit-Call Mike Holmes

Captain Grief: You met Mike friggin’ Holmes, why didn’t you tell me?!

Kelly: You were in Cuba and when I corresponded with you on vacation you sent me a piranha!!!  

Captain Grief: You got over it and drank the rum.

Kelly: Course I drank the rum! However, for that little misdemeanour I think I’m taking the lead on this week’s post.

Captain Grief’s Idea of a Gift

Captain Grief: Spoil sport.

Kelly: One strawberry daiquiri and one piña colada please.  

Captain Grief: Pardon??!! (Rages silently).

Kelly: You heard me.

Captain Grief: Fine I’ll get them, but only because it’s a good idea. (Mumbles) I knew that would come back to bite me.

Kelly: Ha Ha.

So, A LOT has happened in the ten years since Kara died in 2012. Lots of shitty stuff but lots of good shit too! So, if you are new around here you will learn we love lists. May I present to you the list of….

Shitty Stuff That Went Right and Wrong

  • Kara and Kelly got married August 7, 2009
  • Kara and Kelly had Ben March 29, 2011
  • Kara and Kelly bought a house November 2011
  • Kara passed away November 11, 2012

LIST . JUST . GOT . SHITTY

  • Kelly struggles to get the city to deal with her semidetached home
  • It is joined to a derelict building
  • Empty for 20 years- yeah
  • City did shit about it for three years
  • Squirrels took up residence in the attic
  • Squirrels had turf wars in ceiling
  • Kelly had no firewall in the mouldy attic
  • MAJOR PROBLEM
  • House continued to deteriorate
  • Shingles blew down the street
  • Brick fell off the chimney
  • Question of mould having caused Kara’s death
  • Kelly applied to Holmes Makes It Right
  • They selected Kelly
  • Crew came in to pack them up
  • Crew filmed “The Lesbian Tree” helping Kelly pack…and drink

Captain Grief: What?! There was a lesbian tree and you didn’t tell me!

Kelly: Cuba. Piranha.

  • Kelly moved out for a few months
  • Ben wanted to come “ome”
  • Attic fixed, new beautiful bathroom
  • Lovely room refresh for Ben
  • GORGEOUS new master bedroom for Kelly by M.J. (project lead)
  • First experience in reality show filming done
  • Celebration in backyard where Mike killed the giant squirrel piñata Amy and Kelly made  

Captain Grief: (Spits out her daiquiri) You what?! He what?!

Kelly: I only mention it because that didn’t make the cut, stop interrupting my list!

  • Had BBQ with The Holmes Crew
  • Presented Mike with apple pie with a hammer design on it

Captain Grief: Why?

Kelly: Because…and don’t freak out. He….was not…a fan…of cake.

Captain Grief: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?

Kelly: It’s okay we don’t all have to love cake.

Captain Grief: Shut your pie hole.

Kelly: Out.

  • Show aired Season 3 of “Holmes Makes It Right
  • They titled it “Here in Spirit” for Kara
  • Had a viewing party
  • Lisa and Julie brought a cake with Mike Holmes and Wonder Woman on it

Reads: “Sometimes even Wonder Woman needs Mike to Make it Right”

Captain Grief: Thank God SOMEONE brought cake…I brought popcorn.

Kelly: …..sit. Bring the Kleenex. So without further ado Here in Spirit!

WATCH HERE

And in case you were wondering

Mike really is a giant teddy bear!

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